Cat dancing

Erik the Red demonstrates his superior dancing capabilites:

No kittenheads were harmed in the making of this video. 

...Seriously annoyed, yes. Harmed, no.

Song: "Holidays" by Miami Horror.

Conversations with Learned Claw

I gotta say, usually they just end with "Feed me."

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Erik the Red

For reasons known only to himself, Erik pooped on the new roommate's bed over the weekend.  Really, Erik, WTF??  He's never done this before, so I don't know what's going on in his tiny pea brain, but I'd kind of like the roomie to stick around and Erik pooping on the bed is NOT HELPFUL!  Old roommate (who has just moved in with her boyfriend) was inspired to write the following in response:

"Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Erik the Red"

when in doubt, make a big stink.
plastic is the world's greatest invention.
no means yes.
love me, love everybody.
speak loudly so everyone can hear you.
behind every curtain is most likely a toy.
life is short. eat everything.
if its not yours -- poop on it.

Eych!

How To Accurately Label Your Pets, PSA

Have you ever been frightened by an animal whose identity is unclear? Confronted by a strange beast in the morning that may or may not be a flesh eating dragon? How do you know? The most effective resolution is to ensure all non-humans are appropriately labeled. These videos were part of the short-lived public service program "How To Accurately Label Your Pets." For example, as you can see from the label, the animal in these videos is a cat. What a relief!

Step 1: Create a label. It is especially helpful if the label has some sort of directional indication system (e.g., an arrow) so as to avoid confusion.
Step 2: Afix the label to the correct animal (please refer to chapter 4.37 of the Label Guidebook regarding matching animals with names). Note that this may be harder than you anticipate, especially if said animal has experienced many previous labelings.
Step 3: Voila! You now have an accurately labeled pet. Watch carefully for any hints of shapeshifting (see Example II, below).
(Step 4: Re-afix label to animal.)

Example I:



Example II:



Easy as pie.

Learned Claw is my morning friend

I cannot BELIEVE I haven't posted these

a huge backlog

I have a huge backlog of kittenheads paraphernalia to get through. But first, a recounting of my morning so far:

• Wake up with Erik the Red AND Learned Claw sleeping on me.
• Dress in skirt, nice top, and rainboots--I'm going to the Philharmonic tonight with Former Roommate!
• Eat sausages for breakfast.
• Putter around apartment.
• Notice out of corner of eye Learned Claw scratching rather ferociously around the litter box.
• Pungent smell of poo juice.
• Realize the reason for the obsessive scratching. Simultaneously resign self to changing into ratty tshirt to wash the hind end and all paws of said poo-juice covered cat.

As I write, we are still forgiving each other for the wetness and the hissing:

good cat bad cat

This sums up a lot of life in my apartment. Thanks, Mumsey.

When figures of speech come true

Every now and then, Erik the Red tears around the apartment for no apparent reason. My mother calls this "having a wild hair up his ass." The strange thing was that tonight Erik actually DID have a wild something up his ass--to be precise, it was a piece of string about 7 inches long hanging out of his gloryhole. He was chasing his own asshole around the apartment. It was kind of hilarious except for the fact that the string had poo on it and he was whipping all around trying to catch it. And then he sat. On my comforter. I had to ever-so-slowly pull out said string. Did I mention it had poo on it? Yeah.

Anyway. A night in the life, eh? I'm just hoping that's all the string he managed to ingest and that there isn't more waiting curled up inside his wee intestines for me to dislodge it with the force of my retching.

part fin: cuddling not allowed

And so ends the week of slightly obscene photos of me and the kittehs. Hope you enjoyed it. Meow.

part 7: Erik takes it like a man

a wee hickey, perhaps?

We now move to the Erik the Red part of the menu. Tonight's special: ear.

voyeurism: he digs it

Love the fangs here.

next, a mouthful of fluff

second, heavy petting

Part of a multi-day, I-love-my-cats-athon.

first, above the waist touching

Making the love all night long

Here's the thing. My cats are so cute that it's distracting. All I want to do is make love to them with my hands. In a multi-part event, I will post daily photos of me, snogging my kittenheads.


A taste of what's to come:HOT!!1!

My cats hate me, part 2: Erik the Red

Poor Erik. He had no idea what was coming. There he was, sitting on my shoulder, purring happily along, when --*plop*-- he's in a sink full of warm water. It was much easier to wash him than it was Learned Claw, simply because he is so much less fluffy. Erik, however, is not as good at being washed as Learned Claw is--he meows, he tries to climb out of the sink and up my neck, he tries to hide in my stomach (aw). Now he's clean, though.

My cats hate me, part 1: Learned Claw

I had to wash both cats. They were just too dirty. Learned Claw went first and got water all over me. He's not too bad about being washed--he just tries to escape every now and then, but is otherwise relatively zen. Sadly for him, he was wet for about three hours afterwards.