Sunday, December 30, 2007

a thing of magic and wonder

Learned Claw, who is possibly the sweetest cat known to human- and felinekind, got washed today. Except it was a special washing, because I made him take a bath with me.

Yes, with me. It actually went pretty well. I think he was very appreciative that I was in the tub with him and, though he wasn't happy about being in the tub, he wasn't too freaked out, either. It was, in sum, a rather painless bathing experience. He wasn't even pissed off with me afterwards (though this may have had something to do with the copious amounts of kitty treats I fed him afterwards). He's not even scared of the tub! And now he smells like flowers.

We took a nap afterwards and he slept on my head, which was damp but nice.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


As I was hungover in bed all day, Learned Claw moseyed on up to the bed, flopped down on my pillow, and spooned my head: he put one little leg over the back of my neck, and another little paw on top of my head, like a little apostrophe. Or a big fluffy cat hat.

Monday, December 17, 2007

A little holiday cheer for you!

Can you see how full of the holiday spirit Kitty is?!  Kitty says, "Ho ho ho!  Merry Christmas!"

your blog, she does not amuse us

Meh, we says.

part fin: cuddling not allowed

And so ends the week of slightly obscene photos of me and the kittehs. Hope you enjoyed it. Meow.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

a wee hickey, perhaps?

We now move to the Erik the Red part of the menu. Tonight's special: ear.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

second, heavy petting

Part of a multi-day, I-love-my-cats-athon.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Making the love all night long

Here's the thing. My cats are so cute that it's distracting. All I want to do is make love to them with my hands. In a multi-part event, I will post daily photos of me, snogging my kittenheads.

A taste of what's to come:HOT!!1!

Friday, December 7, 2007

I can't stop watching this

This makes me want to learn to play piano. I mean, if a cat can do it... well, then I'll probably fuck it up.

Monday, December 3, 2007

um, that's not a cat toy, guys

No, that's not a cat toy. I got it in a goody bag from a Museum of Sex fundraiser back in May (don't ask), and while it looks like a cat toy, I don't think it's usual practice for cat owners to alternately whip and tickle their cats.

Ugh, Erik's even licking his chops. Gross.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I have the cutest cats in the world

To wit: Please note the little tongue sticking out of Learned Claw's mouth.
Close up!
Looks like Learned Claw might need another bath. Sigh.

Wild hair up the butt

Every now and then, one of the kittens will run around like he's absolutely bonkers. Erik's favorite pastime when this happens is to chase something invisible around and around the cat tree. I have been trying for two years to capture this on video, and I was finally able to get a few seconds the other night--imagine this happening for 10 minutes at a time.

X-treme close up

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The thrill of the hunt

Earlier this evening, Learned Claw successfully stalked, caught, and delivered to me a black hair band.

I gave him a treat. (Along with cockroaches, bed bugs, and undergraduates, black hair bands represent a fast growing threat in my neighborhood.)

This mighty fluffy killer is now asleep on my stinky running clothes, stretching his little front legs out off the edge of the bed. Yawn, fluffy killer. Show us your fangs.

Friday, November 23, 2007

So helpful

If you ever need a paper written for you, Erik the Red is your guy. Mrrrrow?

there is no Erik, only ZULL

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Kittens are very hyperactive--sprinting after each other from one end of apartment to the other (kitten tag?), skidding across kitchen on fluffy paws, and crashing into wall. Highly amusing.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

My cats hate me, part 2: Erik the Red

Poor Erik. He had no idea what was coming. There he was, sitting on my shoulder, purring happily along, when --*plop*-- he's in a sink full of warm water. It was much easier to wash him than it was Learned Claw, simply because he is so much less fluffy. Erik, however, is not as good at being washed as Learned Claw is--he meows, he tries to climb out of the sink and up my neck, he tries to hide in my stomach (aw). Now he's clean, though.

My cats hate me, part 1: Learned Claw

I had to wash both cats. They were just too dirty. Learned Claw went first and got water all over me. He's not too bad about being washed--he just tries to escape every now and then, but is otherwise relatively zen. Sadly for him, he was wet for about three hours afterwards.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Les deux chatons grisâtres

You may not realize this, but when you are very low on litter it's not actually a good idea to pour the last crumbs into the litter box. This is because the very end of the litter container is very dusty and pouring that dust into your cat's litter box means that your cat will be scratching around in the dust every time it goes to the toilet. What this means is that your cat will end up litter-dust covered and then you will need to wash said cat.

If your cats happen to be named Learned Claw and Erik the Red, then you will be the disgusted owner of two grayish colored cats. The English 'grayish' is just not as good as the French 'grisâtre' for evoking the icky nasty sort of gray I'm confronted with in my otherwise quite cute and obsessively self-cleaning cats. Ick.

So now I have to wash them just as soon as the hot water in my damn apartment building turns back on for good.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

how much fish weight can a cat carry?

I have no idea what is going on in this video other than it is amazing.

According to the comments under this video, the conclusion of the clip (starting with the writing against the sunrise over the earth) says:
'in this way a new piece of trivia is born into the world:'
'the [fish-stealing stray cat] that is chased by sazae-san can steal a maximum load of approximately a 2-kg bonito (fish)'

Saturday, November 10, 2007


The tailor of a Cat Prin.

Want to transform your cat into a Frog? The above website is here to help:

CAT PRIN -- the tailor for a cat you know -- it is -- fact which will become dearer than former if a cat has clothes on
Don't you doubt? "Although I want to dress with dress extravagant with my cat, doesn't a cat dislike having" clothes on?
It is impossible that continue for time long to be sure, and you continue dressing a cat. But about [ to which you dress a cat and take a commemorative photo on special days, such as a birthday of a cat, ] is OK.

1. You need to dress a cat. And you will say to a cat together with a family. "It has changed just for a moment". [ "it being very dear" or ] You will pass pleasant one time.

2. If a family and a cat become fortunate, you will take a commemorative photo! Therefore, please photo your cat lovelily with much trouble.

3. If it finishes taking a photograph, you will make it remove clothes from a cat immediately. You will say then, without forgetting the language of gratitude to a cat. "-- be flooded -- a way -- good -- having done one's best -- ! -- "

Those Japanese, they think of everything.

Friday, November 9, 2007

welcome to my life in the morning

Video: "Morning Cat"

The co-owner of Erik the Red and Learned Claw should appreciate this video. He should also not watch it at le boulot because he will laut lauchen. It's just so true.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

chasey snatchy clawy time

Learned Claw is, as you may have gathered, dear Reader, rather quiet and unassuming. He can be a sweet sweet cat (and a hungry hungry hungry cat), and he can be a lazy lazy cat (as when he likes to halfheartedly bite the toy I'm playing with and then drop it on the ground for me to pick up as in the beginning of the video below), but every now and then, he is the hyperactive kitten I adopted in July of 2005 (the payoff is at the end. It's worth the length of the video, trust me):
The added bonus is my roommate warbling along to Manic Monday.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


The real upside of having two cats is that, when you're obsessively watching Grey's Anatomy, they will lie on either side of you to keep you warm and toasty.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

because I can

I will post another picture of Erik being very un-Erik-like.It's like he's melting into his own fluff.

Erik the Red going crazy, Learned Claw going crazier

There was catnip involved.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

sometimes they are funny

Sometimes these cats are so funny that I wonder why everyone doesn't throw out their TVs and watch the cats instead. It is never-ending amusement and delight (well, except when it's not).

To wit: the other night the cats were particularly hilarious.

I think I am safe in saying that all these photos will be LOLcat-ified at some point.

Friday, October 26, 2007

action and excitement

Erik tries to catch the toy.

It is surprisingly difficult to take pictures of him doing this while playing with the toy myself, and none of the shots truly convey the action and excitement of playing with this high-jumping cat.

To be fair, the action and excitement doesn't stop when the toy gets put away. No, everything is a toy: my cell phone, the water bottle, the little tray from Trancoso that holds my change and extra keys, my deodorant, glasses, camera, mouse--everything.

...Living with this cat is never-ending action and excitement.

Learned Claw playing as a kitten

From the early days of cat ownership. Learned Claw still plays exactly like this--he hops, and then he scrambles after the toy with both paws flying. So cute!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Learned Claw 1st day

Learned Claw's first day at my apartment. He still likes to sleep in the little cardboard box, but while it used to look like this:

Now it looks more like this:

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Erik the Red attacks the camera, cutely

I wanted to show off Erik's new and snazzy collar, which is pink and which he hates, when he began to attack the camera.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

this is NOT okay

So besides the regular dropping the water bottle on the floor and waking me up out of a dream so that I do not get the correct amount of sleep and I am going to kill him ANYWAY, ERIK PEED ON MY DESK CHAIR CUSHION.

If anyone--and I mean ANYONE, most especially OTHER PEOPLE WHO HOUSED THESE VERY CATS LAST YEAR--makes some remark to me about "Now you know what I went through all last year Ha ha haaaaaa," I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT AND EAT IT FOR LUNCH. No matter how good Prune's menu is.

The dance of the hungry cat IV

Le Finale.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The dance of the hungry cat III

When it is nighttime, the dance of the hungry cat is even cuter. Almost exponentially cuter.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

oh my god these cats are annoying

Damnit Erik, I just want to read my articles about Punt in peace. But no, you insist on being fed NOW NOW NOW (even though it is not yet your dinner time) and trying to knock my lamp off my table. I will be very displeased if you actually succeed in doing this, and it might cause me to shout and throw something soft and plushy at you.

this cat is ridiculous

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I pounce on you, pt. 1

It is veeeery difficult to get pictures of the cats playing. This is what it ends up looking like:

I'm mean, I'm trying, but there really needs to be someone else there to man the camera/feather toy.